theianlogs | The point of no return

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The point of no return

Who: Eiji and Ankh, Open portion HERE
When: October 7, night, continues for 46 hours
Where: Shopping district
What: The power of the music of the night
Warnings: Standard monster-fighting violence, addiction (thanks to the monster), some self-harm/semi-suicidal undertones to conversation

There is a phantom who's been singing late at night in the shopping district. And this angel of music has been drawing a lot of monsters. And Eiji being Eiji, he can't just leave this alone.

A flash of light from LaToraBatta doesn't do much to distract the monsters, and they begin aggressively beating Eiji now that he's closer to wherever the singing is coming from.

"Ankh, I think I'm going to need a combo for this one," he calls back, trying to block while at the same time slashing at another monster. "There's too many!"

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Ankh's attack succeeds in sending Eiji crashing into the roof again, and he stumbles trying to get back to his feet. He's running out of energy. If he doesn't win this now, he'll never make it back. His only chance is to put everything he has left into a freezing attack and hope he has enough ability to walk over to the phantom again.

"I'm sorry, Ankh," he says as he unleashes a massive blast of ice toward him.

He lands on the roof as well, and is very nearly knocked off of it again by that blast. It's a huge burst of energy, and when he's done stepping back to keep from falling over, he's right at the edge of the roof. But that's as far as it goes. Anyone else, and it might have frozen them in place, but not Ankh.

For a second, he's concerned that maybe Eiji still has the energy to fly, and maybe he could have already escaped while Ankh was recovering, but he's still standing there in front of him. He steps forward again, though he's not planning to attack unless Eiji gives him reason to. As far as he can tell, the other is finally at his limit.

That's it. That's all Eiji has left, and Ankh is still standing.

The transformation breaks on its own, and Eiji collapses, all of the strength gone from his body.

Not that he's not still trying to move, but he barely has the energy to cry from the frustration of not even managing that.

Ankh moves over to where Eiji landed, relieved to see that he's too worn out to keep trying to leave, even as he wonders how Eiji still has enough energy that he didn't immediately pass out. He's not going to say or do anything for the moment, just stand beside him and stay ready to move to stop him again if Eiji does manage to do anything.

Eiji should, by all rights, be unconscious. But the desperate need to get back to the phantom is making him fight to keep his eyes open. He tries to pull himself forward, but all he can manage is to scrape his fingers across the roof.

His breathing is labored, but he forces himself to ask, "Why?"

It's really pathetic, watching him struggle like that. But it's still vastly preferable to him having any more energy to work with.

"Why what?"

"Why...try?"

It's almost impossible for Eiji to finish the question. It hurts too much to talk, and everything in him is telling him to just put his strength into getting up and getting out of there. But he knows he can't. He doesn't have any strength left.

"You died. For me."

And that's what's been at the heart of this for him. Because there's no way he's worth someone sacrificing that much--for Ankh to sacrifice the very life he'd wanted validated. Why let Eiji break his Medal? And why risk getting hurt or killed or even controlled himself just to stop Eiji from very likely dying to the phantom?

With those broken words, it's almost hard to put that together, except that he knows exactly what Eiji's saying. Why? Before, because his medal was broken anyway, and getting rid of Maki was as much satisfaction as the novel experience of people worrying over him dying. Now, because a certain idiot wouldn't give up on fixing that medal and he can say Eiji's the reason he's alive multiple times over.

Finally deciding Eiji's not going to go anywhere, he settles down next to him. And what he says is something he might not under other circumstances, but it's the answer Eiji needs to hear, and he hopes it gets through, because he's tired at this point of hearing otherwise.

"Because you're worth it, you idiot. Stop thinking you aren't."

This wasn't the answer he was expecting. And only because it came from Ankh, who never wastes his time on trying to make anyone feel better about themselves, does he listen and stare at him, too stunned to react.

But finally, his body gives out, and he finds himself starting to close his eyes.

He's not surprised by that look, considering, and in truth he probably wouldn't have said it if he didn't know Eiji was very likely to pass out afterward. He's grateful when he actually does, if at this point mostly because that means he's not staring at him in disbelief anymore.

He keeps an eye on Eiji while he sleeps, wondering how long this will last, and whether it matters. Will anything have changed when he wakes up? Or will it just start all over again and only get worse? How long can he keep this up before one or both of them end up dead? Despite the look on Eiji's face just now, for all Ankh knows, he'll have forgotten about it by the time he wakes up and just be all the more deadset on killing himself.

Some part of him wants to go get rid of the phantom once and for all, but with how that fight went before, trying that would probably be equally pointless. He doesn't have any intention of winding up dead or mind-controlled himself.

All he can do is wait and see what happens.

It takes a few hours, and even then, Eiji's not sure he wants to wake up. Right away, he can tell something's right with his mind again, if only because the guilt from everything he'd just done hits him hard.

He'd used the purple Medals again. To hurt Ankh. What was he thinking?

He doesn't plan on opening his eyes, or giving any hint that he's awake other than his breathing, which he's trying to keep from speeding up so he doesn't start crying.

And then he feels a sudden weight against his body, and he jumps.

Edited 2017-10-12 03:03 (UTC)

Ankh hadn't gotten any sleep since this whole thing started, and as the time passed it was harder and harder to keep his eyes open. He couldn't let himself sleep if there was a chance of Eiji escaping, but eventually he had to give up stubbornly fighting and come up with a compromise. He could sleep if knew Eiji waking up would wake him up too. Meaning he's currently using Eiji as a human pillow.

In his defense, it works. He's always been a light sleeper, and that exaggerated twitch under him is more than enough to jolt him out of sleep. It takes him a moment longer to remember what's going on and why he's laying on a rooftop partially on top of Eiji, but then he quickly sits up and turns so he can easily grab Eiji again if he tries to move.

Eiji does try to move, momentarily so shocked that Ankh's on top of him that he tries to scramble away from him.

Of course, "tries" is the key word. In practice, even trying to sit up hurts so bad that Eiji sucks in a sharp breath and just barely manages to curl in on himself.

Ankh relaxes slightly when he sees just how much difficulty Eiji is having. If he's still crazy, he's at least not in good enough shape to run off again easily. It takes him a second to say anything, mostly because he's not sure he actually wants an answer to the question of whether Eiji's still crazy.

"You better not be planning on trying to run off again."

He shakes his head.

"I'm sorry."

It comes out as a whisper, if only because he doesn't trust his voice right now.

When Ankh hears that, he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. For the first time in two days, that seems like it's actually Eiji talking. He's not sure what broke the hold. Maybe time, or maybe Eiji having been knocked so hard asleep from that combo. It doesn't really matter.

"I guess you remember all that, then." He says it for a couple kinds of confirmation. First, that Eiji's really back, and second, exactly how much he actually remembers, because there were a few things in there Ankh would be okay with him having forgotten entirely.

There's enough hesitation to confirm it before Eiji nods, a warm blush rising to his cheeks. Everything.

"I'm sorry," he says again, when he can get his voice under control. "For everything."

Ankh replies with a vague sound, almost dismissive. There's not really much to say to an apology. He's definitely not going to say it's unwarranted after all that, but also most of that wasn't Eiji's fault in the first place. Except for one thing.

"You had those Medals the whole time, didn't you?"

Eiji closes his eyes and nods.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you from the start."

Damn right he should have.

"But you didn't. Were you ever going to if that hadn't happened?"

Eiji hesitates. He really doesn't know. On some level, he'd known he should say something, but he tried to avoid it.

"I was scared," he finally says. "You sacrificed yourself saving me from becoming a Greeed forever. I didn't know how to tell you."

That just reminds him of something earlier, said in the midst of Eiji's posessed insanity.

You mean care like when you killed yourself to save me?

And it earns Eiji a bop on the shoulder; not hard, but probably enough to hurt considering he's not in great condition already. And then Ankh looks away, hiding his expression. He wishes Eiji would stop making such a big deal out of that.

"That Medal was already broken back then, anyway." Something Eiji should have known, either because he saw it or because Hina told him when she didn't have to keep secrets anymore. It was an easy decision to make when he wasn't going to hold up much longer regardless.

Eiji winces at the bop--no chance of him seeing your expression anyway, Ankh. Even light, he hurt himself enough in the fight to see stars for a minute.

"I..." He hadn't known. Hina hadn't told him, maybe specifically to spare him the horrific sense of guilt he feels shooting through him--he should have seen it. He should have known. If he had, he never would have put Ankh into that situation.

It doesn't change much.

"I couldn't risk breaking your Medal more when I tried to bring you back," he finally says instead. "So I tried something I could."

He hadn't known. He'd figured that out already from the way Eiji was saying things, but that reaction just confirms it.

There's a bit of a huff at the explanation. He can't fault that logic, really but... "Why those?" There had to be other medals to experiment on, ones that didn't almost turn Eiji into a Greeed at one point.

Eiji looks away from him. That's exactly the reaction he had been afraid of, and the whole reason he'd kept it a secret for so long.

"I didn't know who I might bring back."

Two Ankhs had ended up being born from the Medals. And restoring any others meant risking any of the other Greeed. He would need a way to fix his mistake, no matter what the cost to himself.

"Not that it would have worked. I can't use the destructive power."

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